Total Lunar Eclipse in Taurus
Total Lunar Eclipse a Taurus Full Moon on Nov 8, 2022@ 4:02am MST. With energies perfecting at 16degrees Taurus.
I was deeply fortunate that the clouds allowed for a clear night. Taken at 3:21AM. Calgary, Alberta.
Photo: Stephany Steele
Moon is conjunct a retrograde Uranus and the North Lunar Node.
Sun is conjunct Venus, Mercury, and the South Lunar Node.
These points square Saturn In Aqurius and trine a retrograde Neptune. The restructuring, being present allows us to build it into being from air. We have to tap into our inner dreamy waters.
Grandmother Moon, please share with me an aspect of my relationship within my soul that needs to become more aware during Full Moon in Taurus and the Sun In Scorpio?
Denying the need for change can be a very deadly thing.
Why?
Our bodies and beings need change.
It doesn’t just have to be seasons and living spaces.
It’s the change within our being that needs to happen. I tend to like the word evolve. And for that reason I went back to the word change. It bothers me. When I see change I become aggravated. As it is said about things that annoy, bother and/or aggravate you- you have that within yourself. You cannot notice it if you dont have it in you.
I also feel this way on the other side that when I feel peace, beauty, awe, and love- I have these in me, fore I cannot notice what I dont have in me.
To be clear, denial is the most likely reason we do not notice that which we wish to not see. It is after honest assessment in oneself about your level of bother and aggravation about anything negative happening around you.
I brought up how I am bothered by change. So I asked myself, what is in me that is being mirrored back to me by change? I would rather be bound in limitations. That I’m afraid of not even expanding, but being different. Being different is a whole other thing to doing life different. One time someone told me I was a change maker, I shuddered at the thought, indicating my resistance.
Recently, I was watching a nature documentary, and it shows what happens to an alligator when they don’t leave the comfort of their mud pit in low tide waters- they become literally stuck in the mud, and that is where their earth experience ends.
If I don’t change, and I keep living in the same conditions, even though I have long out grown them, but too stuck in my own mud to know when to leave- I shudder the thought of that being how my earthly existence ends…
I firstly needed to understand why I needed to change in the way I feel pulled towards changing in myself. There is a lot of this “why should I?” Feeling bubbling up, memories of no one else in the family doing what they are asking of me, or at least that is how it all looks to me as a child- that they weren’t willing to change their ways, so why should I? The difference here is that as an adult, I’m hanging around people who do change for the better on a daily basis. This is an example of how my early experiences need to be worked out so that I may join around the folks I have attracted in my life.
Now I am able to start looking at, emotionally speaking through my intuition, the things that stop me from changing:
Catering to others.
Worrying what other’s are thinking of me.
Worrying that they won’t approve and will violently express their disappointment- is really a subset of being worried about what others are thinking of me through people pleasing behaviour.
To name a few, I am sure there is more as I untangle this.
I also asked my intuition around the feeling of what could happen if I allow change:
Learning
Self respect
Inner authority
Ability to develop the self from a real place inside myself
I feel encouraged to share this personal process in each of their steps. Because as I kept flowing with myself and my guides, I came around to this wondering of: “do I even want my needs?” I need learning, I need self respect, I long to develop myself from a real place. This took my fear of taking personal responsibility a step further- no one is going to get me what I need. So do I even want what I need? My understanding of that concept becomes a little more clear now as well- I have to embody what I want in my life before others around me can come to know how they may help me if they so choose. When I am working on a project, like building a website which these writings will be posted to too, friends who hear of this and who want to help will share how they can be of service. Which in affect is me giving them an opportunity to express love to me. That love creates change to happen in me and my life. That change allows me to show up differently for them, allowing me to support them in ways that I am skilled, I can better love them. This feels like a positive cycle of receiving and giving.
Change uncovers more of what we value and cherish. Sometimes we do need our worlds ‘blown’ apart, disrupted, made inconvenient, insufferable and intolerable so we stop and assess the ways in which we live and express ourselves. Sometimes being comfortable is an inner state of beingnness, not an outward expression we should be chasing. You can be inwardly comfortable while doing really uncomfortable things. Today that comfort can also be described as grounding, feeling centred and balanced, and inner peacefulness. We move differently when we get comfortable with deciding we are going to change our lives in some way, even though the world around us may perceive this to be an upheaval of some sort. That change is reflecting the inner beacon and pull of our desires, we can be at peace with upheaval when we know it’s part of the work we must do.
Why should I? Because my joyful comfortable life depends on it.
Stay warm and safe,
Stephany